My Love My Life

My Love My Life
Dream big, earn it, enjoy life

Monday, November 22, 2010

Its already the 22nd of nov 2010. I've been studying in UCSI for almost a year. But stil, i cant get use to my frens thr. Mostly of them will be speaking chinese n im the oni one speaking in eng ..Worse of all, i wont noe wad are they talking bout cause, the things they noe ..i dun ..this upsets me alot cause i feel left out sumtimes. I dun mind if they wanna hang out, go to a shopping mall amongs themselves without me cause, i cant get along wit them ..but at least tel me so n NOT talk bout it in front of me ..IT hurts me alot tht way, SUMTIMES i DO feel tht, I chose the wrong college to study in, SUMTIMES i DO regret my actions, in being in this college ..ppl im wit now, hardly talk to me cause i dun converse the same language with them AND i duno wad are they talking bout ..as in wad topic they are talking bout, im not sure bout ..i duno bout ..this is because im not expose to the outside world, i dun noe much about anything outside ..i feel so ashame of myself. They noe more n i dun or worse, they noe natural and simple things n i dun EVEN noe about any of those. I did try my best to listen to wad they are saying, wad they are talking bout, and also tolerate on teh situation tht they just talk among themselves n not a single moment i was included in the conversation. Im thankful though tht, one of my new frens, did include me in, sum how or rather in a situation. But who noes, when i turn my back around, she's influenced by them, talking bout me (probably) behind my back ..then, i wasn even cared ..SUMTIMES, i do feel like n think tht i shud dissapear in front of their faces n let them have their moment. If thts wad they wan ..since im ignored. This all started when i started this 2nd sem ..n now it almost end. Next sem is coming up, im also not sure whether they wan me tgt in the same class wit them or not ..sigh ..wad a life ..i guess part of it can be my fault ...